Oh Shoot.

So I'm sitting at a desk typing in "pacenurse01" for my login, excited to get some work done. The producer's conveniently made the computer lab our green room while they shoot next door in the mock doctor's office. All I need for my short bit is the pressed lab coat hanging on the wall, so I got plenty of time, which I put to good use catching up on some e-mail correspondence & formspring questions I wasn't able to get to during the week.

And just like that...it hits me. Right in the pit of my stomach. I attribute the ache to many things which seem viable enough: sleep deprivation; the Dunkin' Donuts coffee I had this morning accompanied by hash browns and strands of hair; those perennial pre-performance nerves on overdrive from being on a legitimate set for the first time; heck, maybe it's residual buzz from the Lea Salonga cabaret performance I watched last night, which threw me back to so many years of adolescent fanaticism. Nope, none of these seem to pinpoint the tiny, cold, mild paralysis that started in the gut and now throbs through my entire circulatory system. And then I get it. This isn't a physical ailment -- at least it wasn't at first -- this is emotional. For the first time, after six months of living on the other side of the country...I'm homesick.

Okay, you were probably expecting to hear all about the thrills of being on set of a music video. I confess the experience was valuable, but it doesn't necessitate detail, really. I know the title is somewhat deceiving -- but come on, you gotta admit the play on words is pretty good, plus I didn't want to ruin the dramatic effect. I just couldn't resist.

I'm not sure why today of all days it shows up, but Tito Alex* was right, it gets you when you least expect it. I mean, even entertaining a beloved Californian by the name of Amy Phu this weekend didn't do the trick initially. It's funny, that I've done all these before - written home, video chatted, entertained visitors, etc - and it never hit me. I suppose when you top it off with the iPod shuffle I organized for Melody, currently slow jamming some nostalgia in my ear via the criminally underrated Tamia (I know you feel me on that Melron), it's really just all too much. I take out the earphones because thoughts of how I miss that pretty girl from San Diego aren't going to help transform me into Orderly #1.

So yes...I don't say this often, but I miss you. That goes for you too, California. I'll see you soon, Lord-willing.

*"Tito" meaning uncle in Tagalog (Filipino)